The Over Examined Life Is Not Worth Living- (Suck it, Socrates!)

So I know that all of my blogs are based on the books that I read- but sometimes a girl just needs to vent... this is my vent on my Over Examined Life...

It is amazing the plethora of emotions that women go through on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. It seems that so many of us can't just be. We are always making excuses for how we feel- looking for deeper meaning- assuming somehow, somewhere, we must be unbalanced. But the reality is we are all the same, we all deal with the same insecurities, guilt, regret and fear of what MAY be.

But what about men? Do they go through emotional rollercoasters the same way that we do, but are just much better at hiding their feelings? Or are they just hard-wired differently from their estrogen filled counterparts?

In recently beginning a new, high powered job... let me rephrase- high powered CAREER (job = temporary, career = forever), I have been unable to get excited and celebrate my future and where it could take me. Why you ask? Easy.. instead of looking at my new job.. ahem.. Career as this fantastic opportunity, that will take me places and increase my bank account significantly- my mind drifts to not my current situation- but to my future, as a wife, as a mother.

Unlike men, who look at their CAREER as something to aspire to- to get as far ahead as fast as possible, women have this nagging voice in the back of thier heads. The voice is that of their children... unborn children that is. The guilt sets in LONG before the pink cross appears on the urine stained stick. How can I choose a career that will take me so far away from my children, how can I expect to make my way up the ladder, make a Real name for myself in this world- when I know I want to have children in the future.

So many unknowns lead women to a place in their minds where they over think even the most minute details of their lives. Is it not enough to just be happy and healthy and enjoy success as it comes- instead of clogging your mind up with the "What-Ifs" of the near or distant future?

It's not something that can be easily controlled- the mind does what it wants to do. Over thinking everything is a woman's way of trying to make sense of what is going on in her life.

Socrates said "The unexamined life is not worth living" (clearly a male speaking) because as it is good to understand and examine your life- I truly believe that The Over-examined life is not worth living at all- as the only place you will be alive is in your mind- and really what fun is that?

The Last Song

forgive me book geeks, for i have sinned... it has been 2 weeks since my last confession.

i just finished the book "The Last Song" by Nicolas Sparks. and a Nicolas Sparks book it absolutely is. if you have ever read a book by Sparks you'll know to expect a deep, intense love story between two young people that happens over a summer. to me this book felt slightly young for my reading palate. i can see how the role was perfect for an actress like Miley Cyrus, Ronnie- an adolescent delinquent turned model child who falls in love with the "boy next door" over a summer at her fathers beach house.

Sparks doesn't disappoint for a good tear-jerking, heart- wrenching romance that has all the twists and turns of a true to life first time romance. at various points in the novel- i found myself thinking back to my first love- the ease of summer romance, free of adult pressure and over powering, blissful, naive- love.

again, this is just easy reading. the story is very surface- there really isn't much depth to it. i found it extremely predictable in the first couple chapters it was easy to summize how the story would end, but i did enjoy the lightness of this book. and the tear-jerking ending proved that this book certainly wasn't without emotion.

a terrific light summer reader. i would not suggest reading it after seeing the movie- the literature isn't deep enough to capture you after you know how it is all going to end.

please leave you own comments or pose any questions you have regarding The Last Song- i'd love to see what you thought of the book.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

so i just finished a quick and hysterical read of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler. this book is made up of short essays and anecdotes from Chelsea's life and experiences. if you are offended easily, definitely not the book for you- however i found it incredibly entertaining. it has been a long time since i've read a book that has actually made me giggle out loud. one of my favourite quotes from the book is:

"Are you there, vodka? It's me Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and Drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD..., but I will call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home."

Handler talks about everything from what it's like to date a redhead, to her fathers crazy antics to which she lovingly refers to him as Bitch Tits, and how utterly obsessed she is with little people, which again she lovingly refers to as Nuggets.

for some light, fun summer reading i definitely recommend this book to any female who needs a good laugh.

The Lovely Bones

so last night i just finished reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. i started it around 5pm yesterday afternoon and hammered through it around 3am this morning. i know a little overboard- sometimes sleep needs to be put on the back-burner for this incredible addiction.

this was my 2nd attempt at this specific book. the 1st time i tried to read it, i was a point in my life where i needed something fun and light as my work and life were nothing short of crazy, when the first few chapters discusses this young girls brutal demise, i had to close the book and leave it for another day.

when i started the book yesterday i knew what to expect Susie Salmon discussing her view of her horrendous rape and murder from her seat in heaven. as i continued reading the book i became fascinated by Sebolds direction with it. from the beginning to about half way through the story of finding this girl's killer is at the forefront, but other things are slowly brewing under the surface. Sebolds depiction of suburbia homes and trials and tribulations of marriage and love is so honest and deep. it makes the novel seem so real, as even without describing certain points in the novel, the reader clearly understand where the issues lie.

from the naive yet mature eyes of a 15 year old recounting the lives she watches over daily, her love and compassion for each person comes with the understanding of how the death of 1 person can touch, change and completely transform the individuals left behind. these stories are real, they are happening all over the world: 1 lost child = 100+ broken people left to pick up the pieces and make some understanding of who, what, where, when and why. it is a naivety we all live with- 'that wouldn't happen to me' - but it does and it can, and when something like that happens, there is no way to stop the ripples from turning into tidal waves on the fabrics of the 'ones that are left' lives.

great read- fascinating story of real life, relationships and the unknown.

The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem.

i have spent most of my life with my nose in the books. it started way back when as a child i could easily forgo a trip to the park or a few hours of sunday morning cartoons to curling up in my bed with a book.

i of course wasn't some incredible savant, i wasn't reading war and peace at the age of 4- i started out with the entire collection of The Babysitters Club, at 6 and 7 years old. it was this fascination that books could take on a life of their own, far surpassing a half hour children's show and opening up my mind into different worlds and places.

my insatiable appetite for literature continued to grow, i became enveloped in books on the holocaust, i am not jewish so this fascination for a young girl of 10 and 11 seemed strange for many people around me- but my curiosity and tenacity to read and learn about things that happened well before i existed made me want to learn more. at 13 i attempted Wuthering Heights, a book whose language was a little advance for me, that did not stop me- i walked around everywhere with my copy of the book and my Websters. reading the book became a little cumbersome when i was forced to look up every 3rd word and write the meaning in the margin. to this day- i still have not been able to finish that one, on the to do list it goes!

as the years passed my interest in books went in and out depending on what was happening in my life. during high-school, university and college- i strayed away from my fairy-tale land of books and literature- mainly because my middle name just so happened to be Procrastination- and i had tremendous guilt reading for pleasure when i knew i had homework to do.

fast forward to my first job and 3 hours a day on public transportation. i had 2 options- stare aimlessly at the lost souls on the subway and make up stories about what i suspected their lives were about. or follow my moms rules of 'staring is rude' and get out another book.

since then i live and breathe reading. i don't watch much television, and would prefer to curl up with a book and get carried away by the words. i find that reading is like watching a really good movie- except it isn't over in an hour and 45 minutes- it can go on for as long or as short as you wish. the movie plays out in your mind scene for scene and can envelope you so deeply into the story that you actually feel as though you are living it.

this blog will be a therapeutic place for me to share my thoughts and ideas on the books i am reading. no one else really fully understands my fascination with books so i am taking to cyberspace to share my deepest darkest thoughts, as the Confessions Of A Closet Bookworm.